Dress me up

Read about Iris Apfel  in The Toronto Star today. She was a fashion icon and muse in 50s and 60s, the golden era of fashion. Today at the age of 95, she still dresses up impeccably and is well coordinated.  While reading about her, one thing struck me. When asked about if she feels that fashion is still as aspiring as then, she replied,’ Fashion has died its own death. Everything is made for young girls who can n pot afford those pieces and women in their forties can not wear them. ‘

How true. When I go to the stores, I find either very small size in designs, which are not meant for my age group or some boring design fit for a dowager. I always joke with the assistant, that you guys don’t like women in my age group. But seriously, there is a real dearth of designers designing for women in their forties and fifties. Come on, we still are stylish ad we have the taste but where are the clothes?

Are we an obsolete breed, which yearns to dress properly and be coordinated? Girls these days would go for a formal dinner in jeans and it kills me. One should be casual I agree but you go to any airport today and you will find people in their pyjamas in the name of comfort. One can be natural and yet be stylish and we don t have to spend a fortune for that. A few selected pieces and matching them is all you need.

Mind you I am not against the trends in fashion like gothic etc. but to dress up like rag dolls? And that too when going out? Call me old fashioned but I like women to look good with nice clothes. I don’t wear much make up but if you are looking neat, is that a sin? Do I have to look worn out in order to prove that I am not objectifying my self? I am a feminist; I am all for  girl education and women empowerment but that does not mean I can’t dress up and wear make up and look a million dollars.

Give me a complex

I am back and it feels good to be back. More than three months have passed and many things have happened in my life in this time. My sister came in mid  July and I was very excited. So I decided to take a break in my blog so that I could divert all my attention to her. She also preferred that.

But now she is gone and it took me sometime to get over the void she left. We had fun filled times, had our sibling fights, mostly for the heck of it and we laughed our hearts out.

My sister’s visit taught me one thing. Actually quite a few things but the first thing that comes to my mind is, we all have our own insecurities. What a weird thought!!! I am talking about my sister’s visit. But really. I grew up with a huge complex about my sister being the glamour doll of the family and I being a plain Jane. Everywhere we went, people would remark that she was very pretty. And boy, she was. I, with my rake thin physique and gawky posture would feel really sad. My mother of course was the one who always encouraged me.

Anyway, we both grew up and she got married and went abroad. Time passed and I had my own family. As time passed, everyone started saying, oh, both of you resemble so much. Believe me, the first time I heard it; It was music to my ears. Finally, I was in the same league as my sister!!!. My My.

To bring the point home now. My sister revealed that she always thought I was the fair one and you know how much the Gora rang or the fair complexion matters in India. What??? I laughed and laughed.

See we all have our own little points of anxiety. So, move on my friends. Let those complexes be the driving force to do something worthwhile. To make a difference, to challenge the worn out rituals and meaningless concepts.

Rise and shine my sisters

So be it!!!

That it should come to this

A quote from Hamlet and I remembered it in the morning. My sister came last Thursday to visit me from India. So naturally I was very excited. Bond between sisters is very strong and I was looking forward to show her everything during her stay. I still I am. This past week I have tried to take her out everyday. We love hanging out together, reminiscing about our childhood pranks and sing songs at the drop of a hat. I am having a whale of a time.

But as I got up today, I realized that I have not written anything in this week gone by, I have two baskets full of clothes to be ironed and I have weeds in my flower beds. That it should come to this? Spending time with my sister is very important to me but so is my creative urge.

So, here I am, typing once more and the thing I want to share today that or love for a person should not stop our creativity. I know my sister won’t like if I didn’t write in the entire three months that she is going to be here. She would in fact prefer that I keep writing.

We often mistake love for binding. In fact, love is anything but binding. If we love someone, we want to be there in every moment of his or her lives. Spouse and children fall in this category. Then we love to control our friends too. Any difference of opinion or an argument is considered a betrayal. For a relationship to be ‘real’ is to nurture each other and give space to the other person. To encourage your loved ones to expand their wings and soar high, not bind them in emotional blackmail and tying them unnecessarily to us. As my husband very correctly says, ‘there should be spaces in togetherness’.

It doesn’t mean you have to go separate ways but you can do your own thing and that should not be misconstrued.

So make your loved ones happy and you will be happy

So be it!!!

Reaction and response

As I took my dog for a walk today, I picked up my reading glasses s I was expecting a text from somebody. I kept it in my pocket and when I reached back, it wasn’t there. I must have dropped it while on the trail. I went back but to no avail. So I was sad but I thought what is done is done. It’s my mistake; I should not have taken it.

I thought I’d go and get my nails done and pickup some groceries. The line at the nail spa was long so I booked an appointment and went for my grocery shopping. One by one I went to four stores but still could not find things I was looking for. To top it all I could not get a parking spot in three of them for at least 7-8 minutes. Twice as I was about to park, someone claimed the spot even when my indicator was on. I was upset now.

Came home and realized I couldn’t write my blog as there were no glasses. I didn’t feel like writing. Fortunately I remembered I had an old pair. So I took that out and finally am writing now. Why am I discussing this all?  Because when I came home, my dog wanted to lick me and sit in my lap. But I was in no mood. But then I realized it is not his fault.

So I responded and sat with him for five minutes. This made me realize a few things.

There are days when nothing will go right but what we do about it is in our hands.

I finally decided to respond instead of reacting. This made me calm down and the result is before you.

So accept that Murphy’s Law will happen but whether you react or you respond, is in your hands.

Let’s have humility women

Just read a quotation on Facebook. It said ‘behind every successful woman, there is herself’. I found it to be a little jarring to be honest. Why? Because nobody, be it a man or a woman is an island in themselves. We are all by-products of our upbringing, experiences and our own attitude.

Gone are the days when a woman’s place was in home looking after everyone. Women today are often more educated than men and are financially independent.  They are professionals and take executive decisions. They are dedicated to their careers and I respect the young girls for being so self-reliant. Kudos to them.

But to say that they only are responsible for their success? Definitely no. The mother who encouraged them to be educated and be financially independent, is she not a contributor? That she kept her daughter away from the drudgeries of housework so she could focus on her career. The father who spent money on her education, does he not deserve credit?

In the case of married women who are successful in their career, is the husband not to be applauded? He supports her choice and encourages her to go ahead in her profession.

In trying to assert themselves, young ladies today are forgetting one basic thing. God gave us the mist beautiful gift, Compassion. Only we have it and that enables us to see and appreciate beauty where men cannot see it.  If we say we are the only ones responsible for our success, are we not committing the same mistake as men when they ignore the contribution of their wife in their career? That she gives them a perfect home so he can concentrate on his career.

 So young girls out there, curse me if you so desire, but Ill say this. Acknowledging people in your success is real success. Don’t loose your perspective.

Think about it!!!