‘We accept the love we think we deserve’

A friend of mine recently had heartbreak. She was seeing someone and she thought this was ‘the one’. She was pretty excited like a teenager. She actually blushed talking about him. We were all very happy for her as she had an abusive marriage in the past and had just come out of it.

I, somehow, was a little sceptical to start with. It seemed too good to be true. The guy was sending her flowers, was texting her and was eager to meet her all the time. Not that these are red flags. The speed at which the relationship was going was a wee bit scary. I wished all the happiness for her but had this nagging thought if it was a relationship on rebound.

She came out of a bad marriage not very long ago and has shown immense strength to pick up her career and has made a success of it. She is a professional and is pretty good. But she keeps meeting these men and every time the guy is ‘the one’. It pains me to see her getting hurt again and again.

The advice I’d like to give to her is to wait. Give yourself time. Do not accept anybody just like that. Concentrate on building up your career. Tell yourself you deserve real love. A love that may be doesn’t make your heart flutter but which comes after a friendship, which shows care and nurturing, which makes you do your best.

If you don’t value yourself, you will accept a relationship that makes you vulnerable, which makes you compromise your core beliefs and which makes you insecure. That is NOT love. We are all imperfect. The beauty lies in accepting our faults, our weaknesses along with our strengths. That gives us real strength. That gives us the ability to discern a real love and a passing infatuation.

Ask the best for yourself and you will get it.

So be it!!!