That it should come to this

A quote from Hamlet and I remembered it in the morning. My sister came last Thursday to visit me from India. So naturally I was very excited. Bond between sisters is very strong and I was looking forward to show her everything during her stay. I still I am. This past week I have tried to take her out everyday. We love hanging out together, reminiscing about our childhood pranks and sing songs at the drop of a hat. I am having a whale of a time.

But as I got up today, I realized that I have not written anything in this week gone by, I have two baskets full of clothes to be ironed and I have weeds in my flower beds. That it should come to this? Spending time with my sister is very important to me but so is my creative urge.

So, here I am, typing once more and the thing I want to share today that or love for a person should not stop our creativity. I know my sister won’t like if I didn’t write in the entire three months that she is going to be here. She would in fact prefer that I keep writing.

We often mistake love for binding. In fact, love is anything but binding. If we love someone, we want to be there in every moment of his or her lives. Spouse and children fall in this category. Then we love to control our friends too. Any difference of opinion or an argument is considered a betrayal. For a relationship to be ‘real’ is to nurture each other and give space to the other person. To encourage your loved ones to expand their wings and soar high, not bind them in emotional blackmail and tying them unnecessarily to us. As my husband very correctly says, ‘there should be spaces in togetherness’.

It doesn’t mean you have to go separate ways but you can do your own thing and that should not be misconstrued.

So make your loved ones happy and you will be happy

So be it!!!

Reaction and response

As I took my dog for a walk today, I picked up my reading glasses s I was expecting a text from somebody. I kept it in my pocket and when I reached back, it wasn’t there. I must have dropped it while on the trail. I went back but to no avail. So I was sad but I thought what is done is done. It’s my mistake; I should not have taken it.

I thought I’d go and get my nails done and pickup some groceries. The line at the nail spa was long so I booked an appointment and went for my grocery shopping. One by one I went to four stores but still could not find things I was looking for. To top it all I could not get a parking spot in three of them for at least 7-8 minutes. Twice as I was about to park, someone claimed the spot even when my indicator was on. I was upset now.

Came home and realized I couldn’t write my blog as there were no glasses. I didn’t feel like writing. Fortunately I remembered I had an old pair. So I took that out and finally am writing now. Why am I discussing this all?  Because when I came home, my dog wanted to lick me and sit in my lap. But I was in no mood. But then I realized it is not his fault.

So I responded and sat with him for five minutes. This made me realize a few things.

There are days when nothing will go right but what we do about it is in our hands.

I finally decided to respond instead of reacting. This made me calm down and the result is before you.

So accept that Murphy’s Law will happen but whether you react or you respond, is in your hands.

Let’s have humility women

Just read a quotation on Facebook. It said ‘behind every successful woman, there is herself’. I found it to be a little jarring to be honest. Why? Because nobody, be it a man or a woman is an island in themselves. We are all by-products of our upbringing, experiences and our own attitude.

Gone are the days when a woman’s place was in home looking after everyone. Women today are often more educated than men and are financially independent.  They are professionals and take executive decisions. They are dedicated to their careers and I respect the young girls for being so self-reliant. Kudos to them.

But to say that they only are responsible for their success? Definitely no. The mother who encouraged them to be educated and be financially independent, is she not a contributor? That she kept her daughter away from the drudgeries of housework so she could focus on her career. The father who spent money on her education, does he not deserve credit?

In the case of married women who are successful in their career, is the husband not to be applauded? He supports her choice and encourages her to go ahead in her profession.

In trying to assert themselves, young ladies today are forgetting one basic thing. God gave us the mist beautiful gift, Compassion. Only we have it and that enables us to see and appreciate beauty where men cannot see it.  If we say we are the only ones responsible for our success, are we not committing the same mistake as men when they ignore the contribution of their wife in their career? That she gives them a perfect home so he can concentrate on his career.

 So young girls out there, curse me if you so desire, but Ill say this. Acknowledging people in your success is real success. Don’t loose your perspective.

Think about it!!!

Clear the chaos

A friend of mine just requested me to help organize her closets. She said hers was in constant disarray and she couldn’t find things when she needed them. How true it is for all of us. Even those who are organized sometimes struggle to find things.

It’s because often when we are in hurry, we just put things wherever we find a space and then forget about it. Or we make a special place to keep them ‘safe’ and then forget. So now they are ‘safe’ but so safe that even we cannot find them.

Summer is here and we just want to be outdoors so we think we will organize later which of course never comes. So what to do?

A couple of tips. One, hang your clothes with colour coding. Put all the pinks together, then the yellows and blues and so on. This way, you can put a piece of clothing back in its right place even when you are in a hurry.

Second, buy small baskets from dollar store and put these in your chest of drawers. Place your scarves, undergarments and slips organized.  Do the same for your lipsticks, lip liners, blushers and other cosmetics.

Third, Don’t try to make pairs. Keep all your capris at one place and tops in another heap. You can then mix and match. Better still, plan at night what you are going to wear next morning and take out those clothes. This will save you time and effort I your busy mornings.

Last and the most important, throw out something you have not worn in one year. It is just taking up your closet space. I threw out 4 pairs of shoes yesterday. It is your turn today.

Try these small steps and see the difference.

So be it!!!

To thoughtful soul the solitude retires

So said Omar Khayyam. I first read it when I was 10 years old. For me meaning held no importance. To quote Omar Khayyam was my pride. Everyone in the family praised me and I was on cloud nine.

But age brings realization and perspective. So as I grew ad studied psychology and philosophy, the real meaning of the quote dawned on me. Solitude itself is just a concept but it becomes a life style with a thoughtful soul. Here, solitude gets its real place. It stimulates the mind? No, rather makes it more contemplative and reflecting.

Our ancient sages and philosophers through out history have discussed solitude. Deepak Chopra tells to spend sometime every day in solitude. But how many of us do that?

 More importantly, how many of us want to do that or have the courage to do that? I discussed being alone sometime ago but solitude is a little different according to me.  

The concept is very important to me and I want you to give your input. So what do you mean by solitude?

Please say.