Let’s pray

Yesterday my friend Rummy posted a very interesting and thought provoking statement. She wrote,’ I am sick od praying for victims of terrorist attacks, now I am going to pray for the terrorists'. This really shook me. How True!!!

Perpetrators of such senseless violence are to be pitied. No I am not condoning their actions but yes, they know not what they do. They have no idea that the darkness they are trying to bestow on the world is an all-consuming monster, which is going to gulp down them too. Agree that they killed themselves but I am talking about the depravity of thought that propels such heinous acts of violence.

And done in the name of religion? Or Equality?  What utter nonsense. If these people were truly religious, they would be spending this holy month in introspection and interpreting the true meaning of qurbani. Qurbani is when you give away something that is precious to you. So is their life worthless for them? Their life, which can be used to serve homeless, sick, poor and marginalized sections of society. Their life, which can benefit humanity by becoming a responsible citizen and contributing to the world growth; their life that can be utilized to defend their country.

How little do they serve god, which gave them this life. How unappreciative they are of the priceless gift given to them. We should actually pray for such misguided souls.

Misguided by forces with ulterior motives that use others to their gain. Forces, that  create terror and fear in the minds of people.

Lets  pray for this souls and others like them that they see the real agenda behind the game.

So be it!!!

Choice, our greatest power

Yes, I mean it. I often say tis and people ask me, you are an astrologer, how can you say that. Aren’t our lives predestined? Is not our present a result of our past karma? Yes and no.

Yes because our karma does affect us, and being a Hindu, I believe in reincarnation. Our past karma carries on in this life too. So in a way the path of our life is pretty much written.

No because it is the choices that we make that determine our action, our karma. Let me give you an example. Your loved one dies. It shatters you. You think this is the end of the world. But life goes on. Now you have a choice. Either you accept it as a cruel hand of fate and wallow in self-pity or you make a choice to live your life as boldly as possible.

If you choose the first one, you will slowly become depressed, then resentful. Your negativity will increase and you will accumulate bad karma. You will find that your near and dear ones are no longer interested in you because they can sense your negativity. This in turn will make you more resentful and a vicious cycle will start.

On the other hand, if you choose to be normal and slowly be happy, you will find more people taking care of you and comforting you. They sense your positivity. This may sound very naïve and childish but this is true.

It is always our choice.

The universe always says YES. It is your choice what you want to hear the yes for.

So be it!!!

I bear a charmed life

How many people say that? Often I hear, my life is so stressed, I am so tired with work/house work, I have no time and so on. But just think, you are tired because you have a home and a job, you are stressed because you have relationships and your children bug you but you have children and their laughter fills up your home.

Life does bring challenges but how we react to those totally depends on us. We can cry that life has handed us a lemon or we can squeeze the lemon hard and add some sugar of positivity and make lemonade out of it. Two things will happen if we do this.

First, you will be happier because you have accepted your challenges and are responding rather than reacting and second, other people in your life will notice this change in you and this will change your behaviour towards you.

It doesn’t come in a day. One has to practice this attitude and take steps to maintain it. There are things you can do. One, meditate in the morning. Meditation slows your heart rate and releases happy hormones so you are well equipped to face the day.

Two, take five deep diaphramic breaths when in crisis. Third, think of a happy moment when upset and concentrate on it for five minutes. Fourth, Do physical exercise after your day in the office. This will convert your mental tiredness in to physical and you will feel relaxed. Fifth, sleep for at least eight hours. Most diseases occur because of lack of sleep.

And last but not the least tell yourself, ‘I have a charmed life’. The universe will reverberate it.

So be it!!!

What’s in a name after all?

Plenty if you ask me. Shakespeare might have written this in Romeo and Juliet but don’t we all love our name? I mean even if we wish our name was different, we still feel offended if somebody makes fun of our name.

You may wonder why am I talking about name today. Let me put it this way. If you remember people’s name, it can open doors of success for you in not just social but business settings. See, people in a gathering tend to chat with people they know and those who remember their name. Imagine, you walk into a business meeting and you can’t remember the person’s name but you have met them before. Except for saying Hi, how are you, you have no other option. But if you remember their name and shake their hand saying their name aloud, how nice they would feel. You have scored a point immediately.

Most of us are not good at remembering names of people we meet casually. But there is a way. Next time somebody tells you their name, repeat it and ask them if you have pronounced it correctly. Different cultures have different ways of pronouncing so it is essential that you do this. This way, you have memorized it.

Second, pay attention to what they are saying. We tend to remember a phrase more than a name so, if you listen carefully, you will be able to recall the name also easily.

Third, anchor the name in your mind by associating it with something. Like Smith could be linked to the locksmith or something like that. Or if you come to know any particular thing about them, for example, he/she is a vegetarian, which will help too.

Fourth, imprint the name in your mind by noticing something about them. It could be their posture, their way of talking, their dress etc.

Fifth, repeat their name while conversing them. This helps in retaining the name in their mind. You could do this while taking their leave, saying it was so nice to meet you so and so.

Imagine if you met somebody a few days ago and next time they meet you, they can’t recall your name. How would you feel? So next time you meet someone, try these simple tricks and see how popular you become.

So be it!!!

Let your sun shine bright

I want to ask a question. How many of you have scolded a child far more than they deserved because you had a bad day at work? How many of you took your anger out on a beggar because somebody said something to upset us? How many times we lashed out on the grocery store cashier because we could not get parking near the store?

I can see many hands rising mentally, including mine. We are human beings after all. But do we have the right to upset a fellow human being just because we are upset? And when we do that, we start a vicious cycle. The cashier, in turn, is rude to a customer, the customer, in turn, shouts at her and becomes upset and so on. No wonder we see so much road rage, so many scuffles and on a larger scale so much violence.

We all go through low phases in life but if we allow these low phases to affect us, we can never come out of that phase. Most of us in fact, start loving our miseries because that gives us a reason to make other a scapegoat and shirk the responsibility of taking charge of our lives.

Next time you are feeling low, instead of lashing out on someone else, just take a deep breath and say to yourself, ‘this too shall pass’. It really works because left to themselves, most problems are solved with time. And even if they don’t, there is only so much you can do. Rest you have to let go. Believe me, the more you let go of your anger, bias and past, the more successful you will be.

Life brings irritations, problems and sadness and we all feel falling into an abysmal pit of sorrow, frustration and depression. But like the phoenix, we have the ability to rise and shine again.

So let your sun shine

So be it!!!

Oh Orlando

Someone asked me yesterday why didn’t I write about the Orlando shooting. Was I afraid of getting into controversies? Or was I not sympathetic towards LGBTQ community?

Let me make this clear. I am not the one to be bogged down by any controversy and I have no problem with people’s sexual orientation. The reason I didn’t write about the incident was because I was disgusted by the whole thing and was numb by the shock. Well, we shouldn’t be shocked anymore by these heinous and pervert acts of crime against humanity.

But I am equally appalled at the politics of it all. This is, I think an act, which can actually bring in a president who is, himself, a homophobic by blaming a particular community. Who is not leaving any stone unturned to turn this incident into a political cocktail of hate and frustration? Who is trying to instigate a nation to block out its own citizens, who is trying to take mileage out of a tragedy to reiterate his policies of non-inclusion and intolerance?

I will not talk about Yateen’s connection to Daesh or how the ISIS is luring youngsters on the internet and brain washing them about how  sacrificing their life is going to get them in heaven. That is for another blog, another day. Right now my concern is that people like Donald Trump are going to make it a political issue and influence the outcome of the presidential election. He even went to the extent to ask for Barack Obama’s resignation because he refused to use the term Islamic racial terrorism. This is cheap politics. Trump should enter Indian politics; he will be the rightful contender of Mayawati, Arvind Kejriwal, Laloo Yadav, Mamta Banerji and others.

A leader of a nation cannot be partisan. Even if he/she may have reservation about a sect of people, they cannot and should not make it a political agenda. I hope the Americans have enough sense to realize that it’s a political gimmick and show him that a leader who can not include all people in his nation in the mainstream, who uses rhetoric to cover up his lack of knowledge about policies, who denigrates women and takes huge delight in downgrading his democratic opponent by saying ‘all she’s got that she is a woman’, can not fulfill the American dream. He cannot soothe the wounds of its people, he cannot lead the country in these turbulent times and he is not fit to represent his country as the head of the state.

Yateen should be condemned to jail yes. He should be punished for the crime yes. But lets not argue if this was a crime against humanity or LGBTQ community.

Who am I?

Don’t worry. I am not turning into a mystic or philosopher because I am asking this question. Though I would love to be one, beside the point.  I was just reading a book called ‘Do what you are’. It says you should choose your career according to what you want to do. We normally define ourselves by our professions, like I am an accountant if somebody asks us what do you do. We spend so many of our hours in our work that it becomes our identity.

The book claims to help us find a right career for us by finding out our personality type. Now whether it really does or not, I have no idea. But years ago, I went through the ‘True Colours’ test. My primary colour came out to be blue and that meant that I am a people’s person and I should be in a profession where I am dealing with people, helping them. Luckily for me, I have always worked with people, whether it was as a life coach or a counselor or in media.

But what about people who are in a profession just because they had the parental pressure to become a doctor, engineer or a chartered accountant. They may be successful now but somewhere in the deep recess of their mind, there is an artist, a singer, an actor or a designer.

Bring it out. Take a take personality test. Find out who you are .No, you don’t have to leave your job or practice, after all that is paying your mortgage and other bills. But take a baby step. You can start off by joining a meetup group. There are plenty for every hobby and concept now. Can’t find one of your choice? Create one. Take up a hobby in your area of liking. Check out your bucket list. Go for that hiking trip you planned as a teenager. Take a break. Anything.

If you can, take the plunge and fulfill your dream. You have but one life. Make the most of it, be happy

So be it !!!

Delays have dangerous ends

A quote from King Henry the VI by William Shakespeare. So relevant three centuries later. No wonder he is immortal. We all are guilty of procrastination. At least, most of us. We want to do something and we think oh we have time but the tie just flies away. And then we realize we are lagging behind.

It especially happens when the task is irksome or not in our comfort zone. When I was a student, I would see all my friends studying hard six months before exams and I would say, there is plenty of time but pretty soon it was exam time and then my night long studies would start. That I had an elephant’s memory and could retain everything if I read it twice, added to this bad habit. But very soon I realized that this is not going to work. So I decided to be a little proactive and believe me, I enjoyed it.

How many times have you missed an opportunity just because you were lazy to call or send your resume or propose to the person of your choice? How many times you say now ‘I wish I had done that’? How many times you think only if…

Life becomes a series of regrets if we don’t take action when it is needed. There is an adage on Hindi which, when translated means, do tomorrow’s work today, do today’s work now, if you don’t do that, tomorrow you are going to regret. 

Imagine if Thomas Edison had thought of postponing of making of an electric bulb, if Mahatma Gandhi had waited for ten more years to start his campaign of ousting the British, or if Abraham Lincoln had waited to abolish slavery.

People who are successful never wait to take action. That does not mean they act rashly without giving any thought, but once they have looked into pros and cons of an issue, they go ahead and start working on it. Sometimes they succeed and sometimes they fail. But at least they have the satisfaction of knowing they tried. It took Edison 100 times to make the electric bulb. He said, ‘I know how not to make it 99 times’. If an ant decides to postpone storing food for winter, do you think it will be able to survive once the snow falls?

So if a small ant knows this, then why can’t we, the most intelligent species on earth know and act on it? My friends take that first step towards your goal today and succeed.

So be it !!!

Ye dil maange more

A friend of mine just sold their house. It was a beautiful house and lucky for them. But they wanted a bigger house and they found one. When we went for their housewarming, I congratulated her on her beautiful, spacious house. Her reaction was “next time we are buying a bigger one because this one doesn’t have ensuite washroom with every room. My friend just bought one which has”.

What? I could not believe my ears. They had just moved in this house and already they were thinking of selling this and buying another, bigger house. But they are not alone. Most of us do the very same thing. We want this, we want that, we want something because our friend has it.

We are not satisfied by what we have but upset by what we don’t. And that makes us unhappy, stressful and dissatisfied. When we do get what we want, we immediately want something else and fail to enjoy what we just got. So we create this vicious cycle of unhappiness. Is there a wonder we have so many heart attacks, strokes, and hypertensions?

But I have the remedy for this. It requires a paradigm shift though but actually it is very simple. Instead of focusing on what we don’t have, we start focusing on what we have. This will make us happy and will teach us to live in the moment. Instead of thinking our jobs were different, our spouses were different or if we could take a vacation in some exotic land, think how stable our job is, how loyal our spouse is or how much fun we have playing scrabble at home, we will be much happier.

I grew up playing hopscotch with my friends in our lane and we were totally happy. Kids these days have the latest phones, laptops, and video games and are still unhappy. That is because they imbibe that from their parents. Plus keeping up with jones mentality has seeped in so deep in our thinking that we have to have the latest gadgets, a bigger house and all the ‘in’ things.

If we are grateful for things we have, we will find that we get more. Because even God wants to listen ‘thank you’.

So thank the lord and be happy

So be it !!!

I Hope

So Hillary Clinton became the first woman nominee for the presidential election. So what if it took 240 years of a nation’s history to recognize that a woman is capable of handling a country’s affairs. So what if she had to wait for eight years after losing the race to a black candidate? So what if women in America had to go through suffrage movement to get the right to vote?

Hilary Clinton linked this to achievement to struggle for women’s right. I wonder if it is going to change anything or empower women of colour in America? She has been a champion of women rights and gender equality. How much she can achieve that as the head of state remains to be seen. But the thing that made me wonder was why it took so long for a woman to get the nomination for the country’s highest job in a country where the literacy rate is almost 100 percent?

A country that boasts of democracy, which propagates human rights and interferes in every nation’s affair when it sees women rights being violated, could not look into its own backyard? A country where women still earn 65 cents of each dollar earned by their male counterparts. It’s a man’s world we are told. But who made it so?

India, a poor country y American standards, though now they seem to be backtracking on that, had a woman prime minister in sixties. That she was the daughter of the prime minister and was trained by him was a plus point. But then she held the post for 18 years. Today, in India, 8 percent of top 50 CEOs are women. World wide, women make 40 percent of the workforce and only 10 percent hold the top jobs. Mind you most of these women are from western countries.

In comparison, in India, women participation in the workforce is very low. Still we have Aisha de Sequeira, MD and head, investment banking, Morgan and Stanley India, we have Indira Nooyi, Head of Pepsi, Archana Bhargava, Chairman and Managing director, United bank Of India, Chanda Kochhar, MD and Ceo, ICICI Bank, Renu Sud Karnad, managing Director, HDFC. The list is long but I have sighted a few examples specifically more from the banking and industry sectors, which were, hitherto, considered male professions.

I really hope Hilary Clinton wins. Even if she is not able to do something special for women, especially women of colour, she is inclusive of all races and religions. America under the buffoon Donald Trump will be even less attractive for people of diversity.

I salute you Hilary and pray that you win. There is hope that you will usher in a new era of equality in real terms.

So be it !!!

O Women

Started reading Chanakya Neeti.  The verse that caught my attention, and initially made me angry, was verse 17. Roughly translated, it states that women eat double the men, have 4 times more intelligence, 6 times more courage, and 8 times more sex drive.

The first and the last intrigued me. But when I read the interpretation, I realized that it is not a verse that denigrates women. In fact, it is establishing them as a person in their own right. It is the natural state of womanhood. Women give birth and so during that period, they have to eat more than men.

That women are four times more intelligent than men is evident from the fact that girls have been scoring higher marks than men for the last so many decades now. They take the top positions in any competition.

It takes 25 years for a man to be mature but women are mature at 16 only. A girl of 16 is far ahead of boys of her age in terms of emotional maturity. What men learn in 25 years we learn in 16. Plus women are born multitaskers. We cook, help kids in their homework, answer phones and watch TV all at the same time. Men simply cannot do that.

Women are more courageous because they don’t get rattled easily. If need be, they take up even physically challenging tasks and excel.

And now, the most interesting part. Men after they have their orgasm, are, depleted of their energy. Women, on the other hand, and this is Chanakya speaking, can entertain multiple men because their energy is not depleted. That is why women who sell their body for sex can do business. So women have eight times more sex drive.

You may agree with some or more of this verse or you can dismiss it as archaic and sexist, but it made me think and I am sure you are going to think about it too. What you think, tell me. I will be waiting…….

Ha ha ha