Are you friends?

 Are you friends?

Is it correct grammatically? Shouldn’t it be do you have friends? No . The question I am asking is are you still friends with people you grew up with or went to college with? More importantly are you still friends with them out of loyalty or do they have some valuable contribution in your life?

A couple of years ago I met a friend of mine I went to high school with. We were both so excited to see each other and there were lot of reminiscing about other friends and teachers. We laughed again like school girls and had such a good time that we decided to meet regularly. We met a couple of times but the euphoria didn’t last much. I discovered that we were two different people and apart from the common thread of school we had nothing in common. So what? You may say. We can be friends with people who are different from us. By all means. But what if one person is still living in the past? Or they are constantly whining about how badly life has treated them?  Worse, they refuse any advice you give them to improve their life? Do you feel drained out after meeting them? 

Break free of such friends. They add nothing of value in your life. On the other hand, we have friends with whom we have fun. There is  no serious talk of career or marriage but we still enjoy their company. 

I have a friend I met 20 years ago. It was a chance meeting. Both of us were grown up people with our own personalities but she has brought so much value in my life. I have learnt a lot from her. Thank you Lalita. Another friend of mine is my childhood friend. She is not only younger to me by five years, she is also not very educated as her family didn’t allow her to study. But she can teach a thing or two about time management, organizational skills and people skills to any management school graduate. I am amazed at how she fulfills all her responsibilities towards family, friends, is there when one needs her and still remains unrattled under any circumstances. Thank you Seema for being in my life. 

Am I selfish to say to leave friends who are busy with their woebigone that they drag of your energy? That we should not help them? Absolutely not. Do offer your help but if they love their misery because it gives them attention, drop them. 

Most importantly don’t be the friend who doesn’t add value in their friend’s life. By contributing positively in their life we help ourselves to grow. 

Be a good friend. 

So be it !!!