KOKEDAMA

 KOKEDAMA

My friend Yogita recently posted of a workshop on KOKEDAMA, a Japanese unique art of growing plants. In English it literally means moss ball on which an ornamental plant grows. It is a combination of nearai, bonsai and kusamono planting style. The plant is placed in wet soil ball and moss is wrapped around it. Aluminum wire or plastic wire is used to fix the whole bundle and also to hang it if one wants to. People sometimes call it poor man’s bonsai. 

My mother used to tell me anyone can grow a rose bush because it’s hardy but very few people can grow orchids as they are delicate and need special care. She then  took it further and related this to relationships. They need our special attention, delicate handling and patience. I was very young and didn’t fully understood her but when I reflect now , she was so right. Relationships are like bonsai and KOKEDAMA. They need care, time and a generous heart. They test our patience many times and we do feel exasperated, almost wanting to give up but we don’t. We value them and cherish them. Be it with spouse, children, in laws, parents, even with ourselves. 

Haven’t we all experienced a strained relationship because of a small understanding ? Haven’t we lost a friend because we didn’t take out time to nurture that friendship? Or a cousin who we were once very close to but are distant now because we took them for granted ? Haven’t we all have had a massive row with our spouses because they didn’t pay attention to something that was important to us? The story with in laws is even more complicated. We have to be very careful in that relationship to begin with. 

I have not been able to fully step into my mother’s shoes as far as relationships are concerned. I have had my share of misunderstandings, ignorance and anger on both sides but I try my best to keep my relationships alive and healthy. I feel we learn all our life about life. Wisdom comes with time but compassion we can apply anytime. 

A word of caution though. One has to be genuine in relationships because if we are not, the other person will soon sense it and will resent it. I feel if a relationship is draining you out emotionally and mentally, it’s better to step back. A toxic bond is not worth having. If a person has formed a prejudice against you, then no matter how much you try, the relationship will not work. No logic will work. Try your best to preserve. If it doesn’t work then leave. No KOKEDAMA will work there.

What is your experience with relationships? How many toxic ones have you had and how did you handle it? Do share

Be strong and happy

So be it !!!