Let them fly

Just read a post on Facebook about a mom who was beating her child for getting only 94% in grade 7exams. She was so worried how will he get admission in a medical or engineering school. What a shame. Today in India, the stress on children to get more marks has reached a very dangerous level. Even western countries are not an exception. More and more kids are committing suicide because they got ‘low’ marks and were sad they wouldn’t get admission in any professional school and what will their parents say. The parents are bothered what will relatives and neighbours say.

Even if such a kid survives and does become an engineer or a doctor, or a software engineer, will she/he be happy? May be they didn’t want to be a doctor. May be they wanted to be a writer, a painter or a musician.

By imposing our ambitions on them, aren’t we preparing grounds for depression? Aren’t we presenting a wrong model before the? Such a child when becomes a parent, will do the same to their kids.

I am not saying being a professional is bad. Having a good degree is always helpful in becoming successful. But it should not become an obsession. Fortunately, there are so many options available these days for kids to explore their talent and real ambition.

My friend Carol was so anxious that her son had dropped out of grade 9. He would stay in his basement all day and while away his time. He was into depression. Then he took a part time job in a restaurant and Voila!!! Life turned around for him. He started as a buss boy and very soon became a Sous chef because he showed his ability to cook. He got a better job at one of the resort, finished his high school and his company paid for his training as a chef. Today he is successful, has a steady girlfriend and is out of depression.

My younger son realized while in university, that conventional education and job were not for him. We were a bit worried in the beginning to be honest. But he chose his own path, stumbled sometimes but today is doing very well. He is a yoga trainer and a successful actor, speaker. He participated in Survivor, the reality show and went to Philippines for 45 days. Surviving in jungle without any amenities is something not many doctors and engineers can do.

I understand that parents pressurize their kids so they can have a good future. But what is more important? Them becoming a forced professional or happy people? Does that mean we should not tell our kids to study? No not at all. But go to the point where they think of committing suicide rather than coming home to a parent who comforts them saying, no worries, you tried your best.

By all means scold them, ask them to study hard, make a routine for them. These habits will instill discipline in them and prepare them for other problems in life. But when they get 84% rather than 95%, hug them, make a cup of hot chocolate and tell them to try harder next time. Believe me they will

So be it!!!