‘Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you’- Sartre

A friend came to me the other day after a massive row with her husband. She said he is controlling and critical of her. They had a big fight and she called me if she could come over. I said yes of course. As I listened to her story, how her husband had been manipulating her emotions, I realized something. She was equally to be blamed.

What? You will say. But it is true. She let herself to be manipulated and exploited all these years. Why didn’t she put a stop to all that. I know she could not have left him but mentally she could have freed herself from the misery she endured. She could have been free. That would have sent the message home.

Isn’t it? We get so bogged down with what others have done to us that we become victims of our own thoughts. Somebody cheated you may be financially or emotionally. But what you do is your choice. You want to carry the burden for the rest of your life or you want to break free and move on?

As Lord Krishna says, we cannot control the actions of others but we can definitely control our thinking and our actions. So, instead of becoming victims, we can empower ourselves and take a new, bold step in life. If there is a critical choice of leaving a bad relationship, yes, please consider all aspects. But mentally you can be free.

If you cannot leave then at least you can choose to be unaffected. By remaining miserable, you are giving that other person more power. They see you be a victim and they get nastier because they know your raw nerve. But if you choose to be calm and unaffected, they loose all power. Believe me they will get the message sooner than you realize.

So don’t give power to others. That power is for you. Use it to break free of shackles of misery, despair and depression.

So be it!!!