Twists and Turns

 Twists and turns

Just finished a web series about police force where they catch terrorists who bombed various cities in India. I had seen it earlier but hubby hadn’t so I had a rerun. It only has one season and I completely understand why. The series is full of action and is shot like a Hollywood movie but there is no subplot, no undercurrent, no developing of a character. The actors are there just for catching the culprits. Why each character is who he/she is doesn’t really come out. There are no twists and turns. Black and white, no greys. 

Is life like that? A smooth road without any twists and turns? Can you imagine being always happy or miserable? Where there is just one routine all our life? No surprises, no sudden jerks, no hidden plot? How does our personality develop then? How do we learn to navigate different aspects of our own self let alone life? 

Will there ever be any excitement? I don’t think so. Will we be strong? No. It’s the twists and turns that shape our character, our personality. That sudden excitement of achieving a goal or disappointment of losing a loved one is what make us resilient, patient and hopeful. 

Our downs bring out the adaptability to face challenges and our ups give us the confidence and courage. Our multifaceted personality is because of these twists and turns. They are the thread for weaving the fabric of our life, the  colorful motifs in the tapestry of life. Can you wear black or white all your life? Colour is essential. Even nature has different colours in different seasons. So why should we, the humans, not enjoy the rollercoaster of ecstasy and agony, of pleasure and pain, of suffering and blessing? 

Very often we say why me when life gives us a nasty turn. But these nasty turns teach us invaluable lessons. Every broken relationship, every failure in career, every mistake helps our personality. 

I suggest you to just take out sometime to reflect on major twists and turns in your life and see how they affected you? How did you deal with it ? Is there any difference in your approach to tackling ups and downs than before ? We all mature with time and we gain wisdom. Has your earned wisdom taught you anything? I have learned my lessons. Have you?

Have an introspection day. 

So be it !!!

Our doubts are traitors

 Our doubts are traitors

So said The Bard. It is quite true. Our doubts often stop our minds from imagining what the future holds for us. We get an idea, we are all geared up to start putting it into practice and there comes a doubt sweeping our minds and we get scared of taking that step which could make us successful. 

So many dreams have been stopped from getting realized, so many discoveries abandoned, so many inventions left halfway because we doubted. Imagine if Edison had stopped because of doubt, would we have electric bulb? Well, we might have one but much later. All the inventions, discoveries and advancements in science, archeology, anthropology, art and culture wouldn’t be there if men who took the initiative had doubts. 

Does that mean we act on every whim of ours without doubt? Not at all. We should look at pros and cons of every situation, weigh the chances based on logic, plan and only then take the first step. After all it is our money or time that we are investing and a wrong decision can have serious repercussions. 

If it’s a new venture we can take an expert’s help, may be take some training. Migrating to another country? Choosing a career? Big deals so one has to be careful. Due diligence should be given before deciding. 

Once you have done all that,don’t let that cloud of doubt engulf your enthusiasm. Charge ahead. Didn’t they say overthinking is the enemy of success? When any idea comes to your mind, give it some time to germinate, do your research, talk to people from that line and then take an informed decision. 

What about love? Choosing a partner? Love is not based on logic, we just fall in love but if you are in a dilemma of choosing between two, again think of pros and cons because it’s one of the biggest decisions of your life. Breaking up a relationship is worse than a loss in business.

Doubt is the enemy of action but used wisely can be a great asset. It can stop you from taking a foolhardy step, from other miseries which you have not envisaged. 

Do you doubt your decisions? How do you overcome it? Do shares. I’d love your opinion.

Go ahead, use doubt wisely. 

So be it !!!

Ati Sarvartra Varjayet

 Ati Sarvartra Varjayet

This Sanskrit phrase translated into English means excess of anything should be avoided. How very true but so difficult to maintain by human beings. We are creatures of passion and passion leads to excess whether in love, pleasure, violence, hate or even food. Yes we are also creatures of logic but how many times do we let logic prevail over passion. 

So human race has seen so many invasions done for money, murders for love, hate crimes and even gluttony. Yes I consider that an excess too. 

Ancient wisdom taught us to use moderation in everything, to maintain a balance between pleasure and work, to find what Buddha called Madhyam Marg or balanced way of life. 

We are ambitious, intelligent and courageous. The human spirit is indomitable. That is why we made such progress in science and technology, we built gigantic monuments like pyramids 3000 years ago, we even conquered space. Because we are passionate but this same passion created immense misery for people who were subjugated after an invasion of their land, their homes devastated and more important their culture destroyed. We even had hundred years of holy wars where two religions fought for supremacy on land. 

So should we stop being passionate? Stop our continuous struggle to improve our life? Not at all but we can control our tendency to overdo things. Maintain a balance between zeal and apathy, love and lust, work and pleasure, even between enjoying food and being a glutton. That is in fact a topic for another blog. 

This phrase has so many aspects that it’s difficult to discuss in one blog but I would love to hear if you indulge in any excess or you have conquered any? For me food is my weakness and I often overeat though I balance it with fasting once every week. 

Do you think we should take this discussion further? Please share

Your thoughts.

Be happy and safe. 

So be it !!!

I have no idea

 I don’t have an idea !!!

This was my cry today. As I said earlier, I write my blog in the morning while sipping my warm water. And I think of topic I am going to write on the night before. But last night I fell asleep watching a show so I faced writer’s block in the morning. 

We face this no idea situation many times. From not knowing the process of running a machine to why someone is  taking a drastic step, we say I have no idea. Someone asks us the way to some place, we have no idea. 

But do we actually don’t have an idea? Our brain is capable of much more than we realize, in fact we use not even half of it. Einstein had an idea and he discovered theory of relativity. A falling apple gave the idea of gravity to Issac Newton. One never knows an idea can hit you, change your life. Oh, I am an ordinary person you may say. Facebook, Google, Instagram, Twitter are all results of an idea. All ordinary people started these. 

So many times we have an idea and we think we will do something about that but we forget. As soon as an idea occurs, we can write it down, we don’t need a notebook these days, we have phones. Later we can ponder over it and decide if it’s worth pursuing.

When you have epiphany, take advantage of that, don’t let it go waste. Have you had any? What did you do? Ideas occur through practice. Yes, by observing things around you, watching people interact with each other, noticing latest trends not just in fashion but politics, social media, culture give us ideas. Many apps we use daily came out because someone spotted a need and fulfilled it and earned millions. Never discard any idea as useless. Do some research before you throw it away.

See my blog is written just by writing about idea. That should give you an idea it can be done. 

Go ahead and have an idea. 

So be it !!!

Yamas

 Yamas !!

To our health ! Yamas is a Greek word and is often used as a toast. Remember the adage ‘if health is lost everything is lost’? We may have billions but if our health is not okay, all the riches won’t give us pleasure. Oh, we can get the best of medical care you could say . But will we really enjoy? 

If our relationship fails, we are miserable but human beings are resilient and we form new relationships but if sickness befalls, can we get a new body?

Every society has its own system to remain healthy. Cardiovascular exercise, muscle strengthening, flexibility are some key elements of exercise regime. Eating healthy, fasting and having a routine are important too. 

To me health is not just physical fitness but a holistic approach to physical, mental and emotional well being. If we are not mentally at peace or emotionally stable, physical fitness alone won’t make us healthy. Ancient systems like yoga, tai chi, shamanic way of healing through air, water, fire and earth give us a holistic view of health. Yoga is not just an exercise for fitness, it’s a lifestyle that helps us in maintaining our balance in all aspects of life. So is tai chi. Both systems are rigorous and demand concentration and practice.

Modern life brings with it lot of stress and never before we had so many cases of hypertension and heart disease. Life is fast and to keep up with it, we pay a price in terms of our health. As long as we focus on our physical, mental and emotional health, we can enjoy. Going to gym alone won’t help, having a hobby, spending time with family and friends really can make a difference. Remember the study conducted over a period of 65 years where they found that people who had happy relationships with their friends were healthier?

What is your health regime? How do you cope with stress? Do share , I can pick up a trick or two.

Have a healthy day.

So be it !!!

Acta Nonverba

 Acta Nonverba 

Deeds not words. My mother always said your love shows in your deeds. If you really care for someone, you’d make sure of their comfort . One doesn’t need to say it. I grew up with this concept. I saw a deep love between my parents which was expressed in their actions. My mother was a teacher and she had to leave early in the morning as her school started at 7 am. She cooked our school lunch before she left but my father made our breakfast, even combed our hair. At the time when men didn’t even think of helping in the house, my father helped my mother every day even though we had domestic help. He loved to cook so he would often make or add a dish for dinner. Not once did I see my parents saying I love you. But we could see it everyday in their “deeds”.

My husband on the contrary didn’t do anything in the house but since he was in the army, I had a battery of helpers. He is a man of few words and again never said I love you at least in the initial stages of our marriage but cared for me in every way. I, on the other hand , am a hugger. I hug my loved ones and express my love. But I remembered my mother and didn’t expect the words. It’s a different story now fortunately. 

But came my children and I realized that words are as important as deeds. Your child needs that hug, that warmth of your body, that kiss to show them you love them. Both my parents hugged us and told us they loved us when we were young. So when I became a mother, I would kiss my sons often, sing to them and told them often I loved them. 

I know words alone are not sufficient to sustain any relationship but actions alone also don’t work in today’s world. Your deeds do speak for you but loving, encouraging words can boost the confidence of your child. 

And this holds true in any relationship. Words have to be followed by deeds but words are as important. They boost the morale of the other person. They fill the void if any in communicating your feelings. They can make a huge difference. Who doesn’t need reassurance? 

So deeds need words and vice versa. What do you think? Do you express your love to people important in your life? Or are you the silent one relying on your deeds alone? 

Do share your thoughts. 

Say I love you to someone you really care about.

So be it !!!

Et Tu Brute ?

 Et Tu Brute? 

Who doesn’t know this famous line of not just a betrayal by a friend but a trust that was broken, a faith that was shattered and the pain Julius Caesar felt . Pain inflicted by knife of one person he thought would stand by him.

But then haven’t we all faced this situation in our life as well ? At least most of us felt betrayed by one person we trusted the most. That one person we thought will be with us through thick and thin, who would defend us against all odds. As they say we are always cheated by our loved ones. From mythology to Shakespeare, from Kane and Abel, from kaurvas and pandavas in Mahabharata to present day, our own family or friends have given us immense pain. 

I know people whose parents cheated them. Yes, actually. How can one expect our parents to betray us ? But it happens. Spouse doing it is not right but happens frequently. I have seen a wife leaving her husband after he lost all his money in business. I have seen a brother taking over all the parental  property and not giving any share to his or her siblings. Colleagues taking credit for what you had developed, your best friend taking away your love, all this. But parents betraying us is unimaginable.

Have you been betrayed by that one person you trusted ? And how did you come to terms with it? Do share your story.

Let’s not betray anyone’s trust.  

So be it !!!

Cras Es Noster

 Cras Es Noster

Tomorrow be ours. We all strive towards this don’t we? We save for tomorrow to retire peacefully, we work to make our tomorrow better, we sacrifice so many things for tomorrow. Or we procrastinate our work thinking to do it tomorrow, we postpone outing with friends to tomorrow when we won’t have work, we avoid taking a crucial decision to tomorrow. 

This tomorrow really is very important in our life. Whether we are missing on small pleasures of life today in achieving our goals for tomorrow or procrastinating to do our work tomorrow, we almost forget our today. 

Today is the day my friend. Today is the day to work with enthusiasm, today is the day to finish the chores, to enjoy with friends and family and today is the day to be able to say truthfully I did my best when you go to bed. 

Many of you might say that in my earlier blog this week I talked about not being so obsessed with our to do list for today. I still stand by that. Making a to do list helps us organize our life but completing it should not be an obsession. In fact I make my list in order of importance. The most important first and so on. Remember the principle WIN. What is important now? Ask yourself every time you have a dilemma of choosing one task over other. Another good thing is time management. If you master that, you will have more tasks completed, more enjoyment in your life. 

Look after your today and tomorrow will be taken care of. 

What are your thoughts? Do share. 

Let your today be yours. 

So be it !!!

Carpe Diem

 Carpe Diem

Translated to English it means seize the day. Thousands of books, number of motivational speakers tell us to seize the day. To pack it up to do list and ticking tasks out as they are completed. Give hundred percent of your attention in office, attend board meetings;go to the gym in the evening and pick up groceries or clothes from the dry cleaner while coming back, cook or pick up dinner, help children with their homework , prep meals for the next day. We seized the day. 

Really? In doing all this are we seizing the day or losing it? What rubbish you would say. These are essentials of life and they have to be done. Agree !! But in seizing the day how much adrenaline is being pumped in our body and increasing our heart rate, blood pressure and damaging our gut. On top of everything else we berate ourselves if even one item is left out in the to do list. We feel guilty. Our image of being perfect is shattered in our own mind. 

A billion dollar industry of pills, counseling and therapy thrives because of our trying to seize the day. So we shouldn’t do that? Not try to be an achiever? Not at all. Working is not an option for women now, it’s a necessity unless you are really wealthy. Even then women work out of choice. 

All I want to say is , don’t stress if the to do list doesn’t get completed in a day. Sitting with children and listening to them is more important than picking up dry cleaning, taking their help in completing chores is not just easing your work but a life skills class for them too. Having a me time either in the morning or evening is important for your mental health. Having a date night with your significant other is as important as next presentation in the office. Life is not fast food. That gives us heartburn. Life is the slow cooking recipe of relationships, nurtured in spices of love, care and kindness. If we can’t do it then we are not seizing the day, it’s actually slipping out of our hands like sand does. 

I won’t try to give you ways to relax, we all have plenty of material on social media for that. And there is no one size fits all for this. For me it’s writing my blog, reading and cooking. 

What’s yours? Do share.

Don’t seize the day, enjoy it !!!

So be it !!!