“ If music be the food of love, play on” –Shakespeare

On my radio show today, I played a very romantic songs from one of the super hit films of early seventies. It was a very popular song and filmed on the first superstar of Hindi cinema. The lyrics and the melody were great but I remember the song in the film. The chemistry between the romantic couple and the mystique created was superb. Of course the millennials would find it very contrived. But to me that romance was what attracted me to films.

Everyone cherished the romance projected through music. We could not think of a Hindi movie without songs. The blush, the fluttering of eyelashes and the message of the eyes were the charm. 

Music is a big part of my culture and people just break in to a song at the slightest pretext. Be it a folk song or a track from a Hindi film or regional but music is a big part of our life. One of my fondest memories of my childhood is singing do-re-me from The Sound of Music. I loved the film then and I love it even now. In fact both my sons were brought up on those songs and other songs from films.

I think, music is the outer expression of the love within. Love for that higher being or romantic love, music gives expression to our innermost feelings. All the ragas in Indian classical and the symphonies of the west are mathematical equations. Now then, why am I talking about maths while talking about music? Because all these ragas and symphonies affect our pressure points and help release negative energy. The Indian classical ragas are set according to the time of the day. They affect us differently at different parts of the day.

That goes to prove that everything in this world is part of an order, a system that affects us physiologically, mentally and emotionally.

Music is not the language of fools it is the universal language of love, compassion and hope

So play on

So be it!!!

" Sweet are the uses of adversity"

“ Sweet are the uses of adversity” –Shakespeare

The bard never ceases to amaze me with his earthy wisdom. I wonder if he was as wise in real life as well. That beside the point, the statement is so true. As I have written earlier in my blogs that our failures and adversity teach us more than our success. I also quoted the story of King Bruce who lost everything and then regained it.

History is full of such examples. What actually happens is that our success makes us smug. We, in a way, stop learning and growing as a person. Because we are successful, people praise us all the time; we get access to things and places, which a common man cannot. So we don’t pay attention to things that might matter. We take others for granted and we start believing that all those who surround us are our well-wishers.

But come adversity and most of those so called friends disappear. That is the time we know who our true friends are. That is the time we reflect what went wrong and what mistakes we committed. We revisit our strategy and try to rebuild our life with renewed vigour. Of course all this comes after a long period of anger and frustration. But it is our crisis that helps us improve ourselves. It gives us a new perspective and keeps us down to earth. The cloud of success makes us giddy and takes us on a voyage of fantasy. But adversity keeps us sharp and prepared.

So, if you are down in the dumps and life has been unkind to you, sit back and relax. Think what can be done about the situation. Believe me, you will get insights that you never thought possible.

So be it!!!

" How to be "

‘How to be”

Gayle Foreman wrote this on a website. She is an award winning internationally best selling author. She asked this question in reference to Shakespeare. What if, she says, Hamlet was asking the wrong question? The idea is not just to ‘Be’ but how to be. Her statement intrigued me. Yes, the question is indeed ‘How’ to be.

We are born and we go through our life as if in dream. We go to school, fall in love, raise a family, travel and die. Our children remember us for some time and then they also get busy living their life. But is that it? How can a human life just end like this?

How many of us actually ‘live’? And by that I mean live a meaningful, happy and purposeful life where we get our fulfillment and we help others. We can all the m money we want, every luxury and we may still feel miserable. Celebrities often suffer from depression though they have the fame and money. Why?

It is how we live. Who we are inside? Are we at peace with ourselves or are we trying to fool ourselves the way we fool others by being seemingly happy? Do we accept ourselves as we are with all our fragilities or we do we have problems acknowledging our negative emotions?

If we are at peace, our behaviour towards others will be more compassionate, more tolerant and accepting. But if we are struggling within, our attitude towards this world will be contemptuous. People with self-acceptance exude calm and peace.

So do I mean that we just accept our destiny and not have any goals or work towards improvement? Not at all. On the contrary, if we accept ourselves as we are, we will be able to improve much more because we would know what to improve. If we know the root cause, the prognosis is always better. But we try to have Band-Aid solutions to most problems.

Remember the idea is not just ‘to be’ but how to be so we leave a legacy of a life lived with meaning, compassion and happiness. The posterity should see us a beacon of hope and joy.

So be it!!!

" Common curse of mankind,- folly and ignorance"

“ Common curse of mankind, - folly and ignorance” _ Shakespeare

I have often wondered how many times we miss an opportunity we have been waiting for, lost a relationship or made an enemy just by being ignorant. Ignorance brings folly along. Because we don’t know something we make a wrong decision and invite trouble.

Years ago, I was offered editorship of a leading Indian Women magazine. It entailed travel and meeting deadlines so I backed out. My children were young and I thought they would suffer because of my absence. Later, the lady who got the job told me there was hardly any travel and meeting the deadline meant spending just three to four late evenings in the office. So I missed an opportunity because of my ignorance and made a wrong decision.

Sometimes we hear something about someone and believe it. We may be ignorant of the real facts. So we form an opinion about that person and change our perception based on that prejudice. We even create an animosity with them. If only we had not given ear to the rumours. One of my friends in our university days fell in love with a handsome and wealthy boy. He was smitten but she heard from someone that he was a flirt and she broke off with him. He was sincere in his affection and the break off really hit him. Later she repented but by then she had lost him.

If only we can keep an open mind and check all the facts or judge a person only after interacting with them, we would save so much trouble. But then, we are humans and full of folly. But just keep this in mind. Next time an opportunity comes your way, give it a serious thought, gather all the facts and take an informed decision. If there is someone badmouthing someone else, think that this same person must be badmouthing you behind your back.

We are humans and capable of great things. All that is required is we use our judgement

So be it!!!

" With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come" - Shakespeare

‘With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come” –Shakespeare

Cosmetic companies will be aghast at this quote. Their multi billion dollar business will end if women all over the world come to terms with their wrinkles. Isn’t it?

I need not go into the details of how the eternal youth concept has permeated in our life. How every middle aged woman, instead of celebrating her womanhood and the acquired wisdom that comes along, feels insecure because she is going to be passed over for promotion by a younger face or she can not get a decent job because she has fine lines.

Life brings ups and downs for every one. We laugh and we cry, we feel ecstasy and we go down in the dumps, we enjoy the heady romance and cry at our heartbreak. All this goes hand in hand. As we age, we acquire insights, which were absent in our youth and these insights help us in navigating this treacherous journey called life with much more ease and comfort. And we also gain some weight and some fine lines and wrinkles along the way.

In eastern cultures, old age is revered. The elders are a constant source of guidance. They are respected for their wisdom and the wealth of experiences.  There are no psychiatrists, no counsellors. Family turns to the patriarch or the matriarch to solve problems. But in the west, old age has come to be feared. One has to look young and slim all the time. The consumerist culture has turned the celebration of age into a scary experience.

The joy of watching your children grow, accompanied by sleepless nights in their teenage, is incomparable. The happiness of spending a quite evening with your partner is unparalleled. These are treasures that we cherish and these bring lines and wrinkles on our face. The age is unstoppable. I remember the universal grandmother of my lane. She was everyone’s granny and we loved the way she would always smell like sandalwood. Her wrinkle-lined face was so radiant, so beautiful. She was the person to go to if anyone was sick or had a minor fracture or was wounded. She had a remedy for it. Our parents touched her feet and we all would get a candy every time we saw her.

So this obsession with looking young is quite crazy. I do agree that as I am aging I miss my clear face and my slim figure. And I try all the natural remedies to have a tight skin. But I would never spend thousands of dollars to have cosmetic surgery. I am happy with my crow’s feet and my slight double chin. I finally know who I am and enjoy my company. My fine lines are the result of my determination to go on in the face of adversity and my wrinkles are a reminder to me of the laughter I have shared with my husband over the years.

I celebrate my age. Do you?